The Lawnmower Man
by Jurojin
Summary: Short summertime one-shot - T/M


_I know this isn't the next chapter of EY that everyone is waiting for, but I just had to get this out. EY will be updated soon, I'm still working on it._

I got this idea b/c my husband does this to me every time he does any activity that involves him getting sweaty and stinky. He knows it drives me nuts, just like he knows that secretly I love when he teases me with it.

Thought it was cute and would make a great T/M short one shot.

* * *

Tony Almeida stopped the lawnmower for a few seconds to wipe the sweat that was beginning to run into his eyes.

The beginning of summer had been brutal so far and his lawn was paying the price for it. He slowly ran his gaze across the front of the yard and swore under his breath. Not being able to water due to a draught was bad enough, but they had also stumbled upon the worst case of dandelions he'd ever seen. The vicious weeds had destroyed what he hoped would have been thick grass. He was looking forward to green soft grass delicate enough to roll his wife around on.

_Well, there's always the bed for that._ Tony smirked to himself.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Michelle pulling into the driveway and then the garage. He watched as she got out of the Lexus SUV he'd bought her for their anniversary. Of course she swore up and down it was too much. He knew better though. If she had to run across the street to pick up paper towels she always took her "baby."

Right now it looked to him as if she was having a hard time getting out of "baby." She had a large drink cup in her left hand, keys dangling from her mouth and another drink cup in the right along with a large brown paper bag. Tony cut off the lawn mower and moved quickly to help her before his tuna fish sub ended up on the garage floor.

"Jesus baby, why didn'tya say you were having trouble gettin' out of the car." He took the drink from her left hand and the keys out of her mouth. Michelle switched their lunch to her now empty hand and heaved a dramatic sigh while he continued. "I appreciate the fact that ya wanted to give me a wet t-shirt show but I'd prefer ya not do it with my ice-tea." Tony took a pull of his drink with a cocky grin on his face.

Michelle rolled her eyes at him and shut the door of her car with a flying elbow. "You wish Almeida." She peered around the end of her car to view the lawn. "You aren't done yet yard boy. I don't pay you to take breaks." She raised one eyebrow at him and snatched the drink from his hand while he was in mid-sip. She brought the straw to her lips and drank slowly.

"Yard boy?" Tony narrowed his eyes at her. "And since when do ya pay me huh? Did I miss something there babe?"

Michelle pulled the straw away from her mouth to answer him. "What would you call last night Almeida? I see that as a form of payment."

"What? The sex? You sayin' I do the yard work and you'll sleep with me?" Michelle just stared at him. "That seems to me like I'm workin' twice then."

Michelle just set his drink down on the trunk of his car. "You don't have to do the yard then Tony. I'm sure I can find some other yard boy to…trim my hedges."

"Oh, them's fightin' words woman." Tony started stalking towards her. "I'll be the only one doing any kind of trimming of your hedges Mrs. Almeida."

Michelle loved teasing him. He knew damn well she was joking and would rather die than let anyone else even come close to touching her in that way. But, it didn't mean he wouldn't become a little jealous by what she said. And a jealous Tony…well he was a fierce hedge trimmer indeed.

She was anxiously awaiting the moment he would grab her and then proceed to demonstrate his prowess with said "trimmer" when she smelled it. A short quick breeze brought it right into her and she curled her nose and stepped back a few paces. Tony stopped when he saw her backing away.

"What? I'm just playin' Michelle."

"Tony…" Michelle took another few steps away from him.

He gave her a confused look and began following her.

"You stink Tony. Don't you come near me. I didn't realize how sweaty you were."

"It's only a hundred degrees out here Michelle. Of course I'm sweaty." He kept moving towards her. "I just want a hug sweetheart."

Michelle raised her hand up to ward him off, still backing up towards the door to the house. "Don't even think about it Almeida. You know I hate it when you do that."

"Do what? Hug my wife? Come on, it's just sweat. I thought ya loved me Michelle. I just want one small hug." He spread his arms out wide and moved near, closing in for the kill.

"Anthony Almeida I swear to God if you touch me…" She was contemplating how quickly she could make it to the back door before he put his dirty hands on her.

"But I love ya Michelle! Don't ya love me too?!" And then he struck.

It all happened in a blur; he lunged, she turned and ran smack into the back wall of their garage, a few feet short of the back door and fresh air. He hands landed against the wall, one on each side of her head. He wasn't touching her, just leaning in close so she couldn't get away.

He smoke softly and low with a hint of victory in his voice. "I could just settle for a kiss ya know. If my person offends ya so much."

Michelle leaned in and as carefully as she could without any part of her touching any part of him, she kissed him lightly.

And then proceeded to pour the entire contents of her large ice-team onto his head.

She had turned and made a break for it, but not before earning a swift smack on the ass from her now wet and sticky husband.

When they both finally made it to the shower an hour later…Michelle was just as sticky as he was.


End file.
